The Dingbat in the carpool

I am an atheist. I am not shy about it, but I also don't walk around shouting it at everyone or bringing it up at all really (in person. I am pretty vocal about it on social media) until someone tries to get me to go to church with them or pray. None of this is really what the post is about. This is about the dingbat in the carpool.

I'll just call her Dingbat from now on.

A little back story: a few months ago the company I work for cut everyone's pay. hey tried to make it sound like they were the good guys "At least everyone still has a job". But that was a lie, they let go 2 people the next day and began talking about hiring someone new. It's all just bullshit here, but that's not the point either. So, we all have a little less money. To be able to still buy diapers and formula I need to do something, I'm thinking prostitution. Of course, my mother is not a fan of this idea. So instead we decide to give up our privacy to and from work and start a carpool with 2 co-workers who live in the same area. 

Enter Dingbat, she's 24 and about to get married.  She is the most selfish, rude, dumb, and clueless person I've ever met. And surprise, she's religious. Very religious. She spends ALL day Sunday at church, constantly talks about her church/choir/pastor, and listens to choir music (LOUD) in the car on days she drives. Now, I fully respect everyone's right to believe whatever they want. Please just keep it to yourself. However, all of this does not make her a dingbat. Below are some of dingbat's greatest hits. (these are not direct quotes, but I think my paraphrasing comes close)

• Dingbat "Yes, Friday's toll is double Monday's, but when you take half off for the three+ lane is only a few dollars more." Me "It's math. Double is double, even when you halve both numbers." Dingbat "Well yes, but from my perspective I'm right, because it is only a few dollars more." Me "Math is not a perspective. You are wrong."
• One day while I was driving: Dingbat "How old is your daughter again?" Me "She's 6 months old." (because she was at the time) Dingbat "Oh, she's not very tall then." I have no idea what the hell she was thinking, D (mom) and L (4th carpooler) started a new conversation.
• For weeks she told us about taking a Friday off to go to a wedding in Las Vegas. When she got in the car the next Monday we ask how it went. Did she go into the city at all and gamble or anything? Dingbat "No, we were actually a little outside of Vegas" So we ask, Henderson?
  Dingbat "I don't think so. We were about 6 hours outside of Vegas." She was in fucking Reno. We live in Riverside, CA..it's 4 hours from Vegas. According to her logic, we live in Vegas. 
• She often gets off the wrong exits. You know, because she goes to the same place every day and paying attention is too hard. I guess that's not really a greatest hit, but she's been working here close to a year, this should still happen.

Well, I'm sure there are a lot more but I'm done devoting time to her. I'll come back and update the list as she continues to do dumb shit.

'by choice'

I'm a single mom 'by choice'. By choice is just a nice way of saying "No, there is no dead-beat father out there that is refusing to take responsibility for my child." By choice for me means I used donor sperm (anonymous). For others it can mean adoption or maybe a known donor. Basically we're older and have given up on finding someone worth marrying but still want a baby (or babies). I can't say if the giving up part is true for everyone. I don't think it was really true for me, it was less of giving up and more of realizing I never truly wanted to try in the first place. I've never been good with committed relationships, the commitment part is never a problem...it's the relationship part that I always get tangled up with. The being there for someone. Caring about them. Being a part of their life and even harder, allow them to be a part of mine.

I also don't have friends. That's not true, I have a friend, the greatest friend ever. We've been bff's for ever and ever since middle school. She lives across the country and we only talk every few months. It's great! I'd really just rather read then take the time to keep friendships going.

All this probably sounds like motherhood should be the last thing I'd want. And it was. Back when I was 19 and 20 and pretty much until 25 (yeah, same age everyone finally grows up) I swore I'd never have kids. No human babies for me. Just baby animals all the way.

I don't know exactly what changed and it wasn't overnight. By the end of a 10 year relationship (I know, sounds like a long time after all of the above. But he was almost as anti-social as me and we read all the same books) I had baby on the brain, and ovaries, and uterus. I'm still not completely  sure if the relationship started to end because I really wanted a baby or if I really wanted a baby because the relationship was starting to end. I think the former. So, almost a year after said failed relationship, on a whim, I purchased some seed and conceived first try.

Now I have a beautiful, sweet, funny 8 month old daughter.